You know your a mini owner when:þ

04-03-2010-22:27:04

... the smell of petrol becomes reassuring
... when you park, you walk away backwards
... your car not only has a name but it responds to it
... fluid checks happen every 3 days not 3 months
... 13`` wheels are big
... When out, you look at small places and wonder if you could park in them
... you will never trust a petrol gauge
... you can`t help smiling every time you walk towards your car.
... you look forward to roundabouts.
... you drive 5 miles in the wrong direction behind another mini just so you can be in convoy.
.. on frosty mornings you have to drive with the window open to de-mist the windscreen, even though the heaters on.
... if you have passengers you can`t make it over the speed bumps without scraping your exhaust.
... you pull away and leave an oil slick in the parking space.
... your garage not only know your name, your cars name, they also know your credit card details by heart.
... you class the weather as being `the mini will start` and `the mini won`t start`.
... when you have to reach upwards to get the ticket out of the car park machine.
... if you have passengers the windows steam up.
... you hear people walking past going ``i used to have one of those......``
... when you park the other side of the car park just to park next to the other mini
... you plan 4 hours for a trip - 3 for travel and 1 for repairs.
... any discussion of a trip contains references to breakdowns.
... when getting ready for a trip, you pack more supplies for your car than for yourself.
... you have to keep telling people how to open the doors
... you are driving along and somebody is turning right in the road and you can squeeze through the gap between the car and the kerb. Leaving the car that was following you struggling and eventually gives up and waits.
... someone is waiting in the back and you say `pull the nob the says PULL` to which the back of the seat flings and nearly knocks them out. `nope that was the recliner`.
... your heart skips a beat when you hear a new rattle,squeak or bang!
... eventually you stop reaching for 5th gear
... you go through hundreds of latex gloves every year.
... if its not dripping oil you know there`s something wrong or there`s none in there.
... you find yourself talking to it when it stops working!
... you fix one thing, then something else goes wrong
... each rattle and bang means something different. Some are good, but then you hear another that, to your passenger sounds the same as the last 20, but no this one means there`s something wrong...
... you think a 1.4 is a big engine.
... you spend more time underneath you car than driving it...
... if faced with a problem on a modern car you use a mini as an example and say something like: on a mini you just change/adjust this but you cant on a modern car with all the electronics etc...
... you still have to explain to people that the bini is`nt a mini...
... you think its unfair that so many unloved and forgotten cars have been made since that never rusted...
... you can laugh at the price`s for aftermarket stuff for modern cars...
... you can spot a mini shape under a tarpaulin from half a mile away.
... you always take the alternative B road route
... you class other drivers abilities as ``i would/wouldnt trust them with a mini``
... you cant park a car in tesco with out coming out of tesco to find some guy checking out your car
... your car has its own designated room/area of the house in which you keep parts you have taken off it!!
... the kids coming out of school stop mucking about, stand stock still and stare for about a second and then they all start cheering and waving
... you play ``how many friends can you fit in the mini?``
... you don`t care that there`s no stereo...it`s best to listen for all the strange noises
... try to explain to people why its so loud/bouncy
... you park in tiny spaces just because you can
... you make endless lists of things that need to be done and things you want to do on the Mini
... you are constantly avoiding potholes!
... you have constant cuts from fiddling about in the engine bay
... you pull into petrol stations to top up the oil, and check the fuel level.
... the passenger tries to open the door before you`ve even got in because they expect it have central locking
... you keep brushing your passenger`s leg when you use 1st or 2nd gear
... you can`t reach the heater controls without leaning forward out of your seat
... overtaking requires careful planning
... the first question anyone asks you is ``hows the mini?``.
... the first thing you look for in a house is where you`d keep the mini.
... you feel sorry for minis in scrap yards.
... you say thank you to your mini for getting you to your destination in time and trouble free.
... you say thank you at the end of a journey and the passenger says ``thats ok`` and you reply ``i wasnt talking to you``.
... when you see another mini owner with hazards you stop and help.
... when your friends and familly see a mini on TV they shout ``theres a mini on the TV!`` and you rush to see it.
... running late you still find time to check that both doors and boot are locked.
... when you plan lots of breaks in a long journey, just so the Mini can have rests!
... when old people point and say i had one of them.
... when you get offended when people try to buy your car.
... going round a round about and your dad says slow the fudge down and you look at the speedo and it`s 25mph.
... you park in a car park then every time you return have a brief moment of panic when you can`t see the mini & think `oh my god its been stolen` then just realise its hiding behind all the other cars in the car park!
... when you pull up next to a lorry and try and touch its wheels
... the only car thats lower than you is a caterham
... you go through the drive through you have to look up
... you go to a car park and your tempted to just drive under the barrier
... you drive around with the heater on full blast and the window open no matter what weather to stop the mini from getting too hot.
... you stop using the wipers and would rather put up with a bit of light rain than hear two feeble wiper arms just muster enough electrical current to smear themselves all over the windscreen whilst making a sound like a cat being tortured.
... there is no room for shopping in your tiny boot because there is a spare can of oil, petrol, water, a toolkit and a breakdown kit.
... if you get a take away, you make sure you take some one to hold the drinks
... you wonder what has fallen off when a rattle stops
... you have no money left but you still manage to spend more on the mini
... you have to hold the choke out with two pegs.
... you get into a newer car and reach for the choke to start it
... you look at a new mini with utter disgrace and then go on about selling our heritage to the germans.
... you have that awkward moment you realise you`ve just confused a fellow mini owner by waving and flashing your lights at them when driving a non-mini (and watch them in your rear-view mirror pulling over to see what`s wrong).
... you don`t want to look too deeply at your car in case you find some bad rust
... you get completely blinded when driving in the dark because all the cars coming towards you have lights exactly at your eye level
... you have a special folder for all the receipts and vow never to add them all up unless you want to spiral into depression and the only way out is to have to start drinking heavily and cry yourself to sleep every night to cope with the amount you have spent.
... apart from motorcyclists, you can fill up the fastest at a petrol station
... people driving cars much fancier than yours actually turn to look at your car as you drive past.
... you`re following another car and you hit the brakes half way down a straight and have to hit them again on the way out of the next corner to avoid slamming into the back of the other car
... you open the bonnet more often than the boot.
... you`ve hit your head on the bonnet catch more times than you can remember
... you see your mini as a thing of beauty and cant understand what people see in modern cars
... people don`t wonder why your hands are oily when you arrive somewhere
... people assume you`re late because of your car
... you can point out numerous places of breaking down on a regular journey
... you know your car so well that the haynes manual slows you down
... your birthday/xmas presents for the last 4 years have been car parts
... passengers can`t open the door
... you double pump the brake pedal - even if you don`t need to.
... you`re driving down the road and you can smell something, and automatically start wondering whats up with your car
... you go on a long journey, you take a 500ml bottle of coke for yourself and a 2litre bottle of water for the mini
... you keep turning the lights on with your knuckle when you pull the heater plunger out.
... you consider a cigar lighter and a clock as `non-standard extras`
... you can impress people at work by getting 45-50mpg from a car as old as them!
... you go through more latex gloves than a doctor!
... you drive though road works and all the workers stop what they`re doing to watch you drive past.
... people always ask why your hands are oily.....
... you see the passenger trying to brake when you go into a roundabout fast.
... you go through a car wash and water flows in through the doors and windows.
... you have to push it away from a petrol pump cause it wont start!
... you can bump start a car better than anyone else because you`ve had so much practice!